Why Simplicity Parenting Will Change Your Life

Nope, this isn't a sponsored post. I just think the material is LIFE CHANGING.

You ever watch a movie or read a book and end up talking about it so much that you fear you will annoy all of your friends and family with the information? Well that's where I am! I cannot believe how often this book has come up in conversation after having read it. It is so relevant and the author packs in so many good takeaways that you may need a bit to digest the information.

Lucky for you, he lays out step by step how to take control of your child, your home, and your life. Seriously. Here is the entire goal of the book wrapped up into one sentence.

If you “reduce the stresses, distractions, and choices--all forms of clutter--in children’s lives” then you can restore a child’s sense of ease and well-being.

Wow, I mean sounds simple right? Despite the proven life changing effect that he has with his protocol, it can be difficult to overhaul your whole life. Which is why he suggests just starting with one of the focus areas at a time.

Let's look at the overview of the simplification process:

Step one is to take a pulse on the family. Make observations and simply acknowledge. Look objectively at your day to day, are there points where tantrums always arise? Is there a particular time of the day that is always more challenging?

After an observation is made, a prescription for change is prescribed. First to the environment--a form of decluttering the childs space to open up room for other changes to be made. A described “simplification regime” begins with the physical environment.

Behavior: What's at stake

The child’s behavioral response to stress often shifts the fun “quirks” that the child has toward misbehavior. For example, the child with great attention to detail when stress is added can switch to OCD. A child who might be described as fiesty, who feels things intensely and understands what is right and wrong or fair and just will quickly slide towards ODD (or oppositional defiance disorder) when increased stress is added.

These labels aren’t negative as they categorize the behavior but also can highlight the underlying quirk if only the stressors are removed. However, this is not to remove all of life's stressors and create an overprotected child. Afterall, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet,” as noted by Helen Keller. Kids need to learn to cope with stressors and challenging situations but appropriate to their age--not our adult-level problems. In the short term, overprotection feels safer; but in the long run, we make our children more vulnerable.

Proven strategy: Why it works

Our emotions from overparenting can actually be transferred to the child. Stress too much about their safety and they will in turn be anxious as well. Nervous and anxious emotions can be adopted quickly by our children. With this premise is it possible that diagnoses such as ADHD can be removed with only a simplification regime? The author hypothesized this in a clinical study completed with colleague Bonnie River.

The research project looked at the efficacy of simplification as a drug-free approach to ADD. And the results were a staggering 68 percent of children went from clinically dysfunctional to clinically functional in 4 months through simplifying the information kids were taking in. The “protocol” of simplification is ultimately a prescribed lifestyle change. And indicated an improvement in many areas such as academic performance and clinical diagnosis vs clinically functional.

The results suggested that by simply paying attention to your childs environment, you could improve their ability to pay attention to themselves. This research project showed better results with a simplification regime than involving pharmaceutical drugs. This is not to say that the author doesn’t support pharmaceutical drugs but merely states they should be used as a short term aid while doing the work that is involved in digging to the root of the problem. He describes the work as simplifying the environment, better understanding your childs needs, and making the adjustments.

He concludes with the notion that simplification is not just “taking things away” but about creating space in you life, your intentions, and your heart. “With less physical and mental clutter, your attention expands and your awareness deepens.” “With fewer distractions their attention expands, their focus can deepen, and they have more mental and physical space to explore the world in the manner their destiny demands.”

The How

So if simplification really does create space in your life and bring mental ease to both you and your children--then how do we do it?

I think this depends on where you are in your parenting journey?

In need of a little guidance and redirect?

Then read his book (audiobook is also available if that's more your thing). He offers strategies, stories, experiences, and many forms of knowledge to help you do the same. The book is about realigning our daily lives to match our dream lives we have for our children. With a goal to help you remove the unnecessary and overwhelming to regain attention and unburden our children.

You can find his book here.

In need of a big overhaul? Kids becoming entitled monsters and your home feels out of control?

Then check out his home practice guides

"Home Practice Guides are designed to deepen and accelerate the impact of the material in your life." Full of videos, audio files, and worksheets you'll be able to fully implement the teachings and completely change your life!

Just want to talk about the book? Send me an email, I'm obsessed!

jessica@highvibemamaco.com

Just a few of my favorite quotes: